Wednesday, February 22, 2012

7 Things all Gamers do in Games

We, gamers, are creatures of habits. When we get a new game, there is always our rituals to follow and things we want to try. And here are seven things we all try to do.

7. Searching around other people's houses:

Oh, hi. Don't mind me as I pillage your belongings.
Years of JRPGs made many gamers kleptomaniac hoarders. We search everything in the scenario to see if one of those shines and allow us to stole whatever we want. Western RPGs made this more difficulty, by creating the possibility of getting caught. And yet we try to loot everything that is not nailed down. Even in other genres we have this tendency of clicking every piece of furniture in hope for getting some sweet stuff. And along those lines...

6. We have no respect for the deceased:

Oh my god, she is dead!... Nice rings...
We don't care if it is a fresh corpse we made ourselves or a decades old skeleton. We will did the dirty job of searching every place and hole of the dead to see if he didn't have any dagger, sword, pistol or money hidden somewhere. We don't care about the dead's family or dignity. That magical sword will not pay itself.

5. We try all the doors (and computers, TVs, phones):

Yes, this is already open! And look, a shelf I can loot!
It does not matter its form, age, or even if there is no indication that door goes anywhere. We try all the doors we find. Even in games where the doors are just paintings in the walls. Maybe the computer on the desk open it. Nope. Chuck Testa.

4. We talk with all NPCs until he start repeating himself or get a restraining order:

You: Hi, I think you are hot.
NPC: No, I don't know where they are. Sorry.
You: Are you listening to me?
NPC: No, I don't know where they are. Sorry.
You: Where are your brains?
NPC: No, I don't know where they are. Sorry.

3. We sacrifice better equipment for pretty ones:

No, it is made of paper. But bitch, I look fabulous.
Yes, we all have done this at least once. New armor? Yay! Oh, wait, it looks so meh on my character. He looks like he is wearing rags... Back to the shiny crap I go. Because nobody will see me using nothing less than blinding shiny armor and big ass flame sword.

2. We try to break the game. Because.

Hmm, can I kill that fat guy?
We all do that, specially after saving before going to sleep. Can I throw my car from that cliff? What if I kill the quest giver? What if I go to the final battle without that item they emphasize non stop how crucial to the battle it is. Because we have this rebel need to see if we can break the rules. That is why.

1. All the time in the world...

Meteor falling menacing all that lives? Plenty of time to try my record at the arcades.
If a timer is not ominously remember you of what you have to do, there is all the time in the world. A fellow squad is needing help? Wait till I find the easter eggs here. The princess will be offered as sacrifice. I have time to forge that cool sword. That ancient evil is awakening again? My farm is not taking care of itself. Maybe that is why we always seem to arrive at the last minute to save the world...

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