Thursday, February 9, 2012

If the Videogame Industry were People

Companies are usually faceless entities that deserve no love. Well, videogame companies have a lot of love by their fans, to the point of blinded loyalty. To me they are just companies, but today I got me thinking if videogame companies were just a person close to me, who they would be? 

WARNING: This is just how I see the companies. You have all the right to politely disagree and share how you see them. Just do not start bothering me with your opinions of my opinion. Thank you. 

Let's save the princess from the dinosaur turtle again, grandpa!
Nintendo is like grandpa. When I was little he knew exactly how to entertain me. Spending time with him was pure delight and he was always right. But as I grew up and my tastes started to change, I started to search for other things to do. Grandpa was just not enough anymore. Mind you, he still knows how to make a good time, but I want to do more than what we did when I was little. Grandpa now is trying to recover the lost time, trying to show he can be aware of what I think as fun today. But he also is not ready to leave his old ways behind him. Sometimes I think he could have Alzheimer, but maybe he is just really trying. I can just wait and see for now.

I am sorry for ignoring you... can we still be together?

Sony is like a girlfriend. When we met, she was that new girl trying to find her space. As she starts to find her way, we started to have great times. That is until she became a little too sure that I would never leave her and acquired a taste for expensive things I could not afford. This strained the relationship a little, but recently she perceived a little of her mistakes and seem keen to make it right again. The fact that I let my wallet with her and she told me she got robbed only after two days did not help, but she made me several cakes and we are good now. And she still trying to be that girl I met years ago.

And after this, we go see big amercian tits!

Microsoft is like a best friend. He share similar tastes and always tries to make something fun to his friends, like using his contacts so we can play in the paintball field before everyone else. That is, until he find that new girlfriend.

it is her eyes... they follow me everywhere...
Now he does everything to please her. Even that cool things we did together now have her touch in it, we liking it or not. Aside that he still gets us before the others on the paintball field, I think he found his Yoko Ono. I don’t know how long they will be together, but the longer it is, the less time we spend together. Except when she want to dance or go to Disneyland.

This year will be revolutionary! I will add a banjo to my songs!
Apple is like a pop star. He has lots of fans who will remember us how great he is. And he is pretty good, actually. But the more the fans gets annoying, the less you like him. Also, the fact that every year he launches a new album too similar to the last one (or worse, just a live or the best collection), you became a little concerned. In the end, only the hardcore fans keep buying his stuff. The rest of us buy it once and then wait until the new albums are different enough to justify buying them again.

Look at those idiots using controllers. In my time a mouse and keyboard was everything we needed. And still is.

PC is like that grumpy neighbor. He will complain about you buying Japanese cars instead of American ones, how things were better before and how the young generation knows nothing about real fun. Deep, he is a good person and if you get over the crankiness you could even enjoy his company and get some tips with him. Damn, you could even end up learning cool stuff with him.

Come on, You know you want this one!

EA is like a car sales man. He will go to great length to convince you why you need a new car from him and why every optional is worth your money, especially that extended warranty that forces you to go every three months to do revisions. You hate all this, but he really have that car you want.

Valve is like that very cool musician who owns his own label. His first albums were incredible and his label have some cool stuff. But you are still waiting for that new album he promised to the fans years ago, while he sometimes tease you with some riffs of what can be a new song.

Now with more Jar-Jar
Capcom is George Lucas. It made a great series in the past, but is always re-releasing it again and again with added things. Not all of them good. And when it try to make new things based on the old things, it always a mixed result.

Hi, honey, I am doing your favorite today. So you can take me to dance tonight, ok?
Atlus is like the perfect wife. She knows exactly what pleases you and is always doing new things. And because she is so nice, you are always wanting to do nice things for her and hopes for the relationship to go forever.

Well, that is it. This is part rerun of an old blog I done and I added a few new things. Hope you liked it.

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